I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
