things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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