Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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