He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
