Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
