Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
