It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
