It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
