shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
