i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
