Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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