If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
