... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
