oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
