do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
