Sponge bath it is.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
