god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
