I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
