Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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