I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
