I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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