Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
