Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
