So drunk its hurt
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
