so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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