you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I checked into jail on foursquare
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just had sex on a roof
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
