Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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