We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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