Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
