I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
