her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
