So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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