he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
