Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
