It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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