I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
