Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
