Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
