He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
