new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
