I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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