woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
