i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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