I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
