I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So much Jack, so little girl.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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