i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
