I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
