Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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