If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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