Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
the room spins SO much faster in panama
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
