I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
