Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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