i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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