She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Still dying that you shit outside
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
